I’m taking a quick jaunt back into my Wednesday Wellness series to share a few thoughts on Wellness and fear, fear of Risk to be more specific.
I’ve been taking on a lot of “new” lately which requires a healthy dose of fearlessness. I’ve always thought of myself as pretty adaptable to change, that is until the last several years.
Somewhere along the lines in my corporate design job and suburban lifestyle I got a little too comfortable (in my opinion).
Then the unthinkable happened (loosing my job). This was the thing I was most afraid of (but secretly wished for as well!). Afterwards I decided not to rush myself into anything which was a good choice in hindsight but…
I spent the better part of last year practically paralized by fear of the unknown.
I was unwilling to make a decision about what I wanted to do next because I was so afraid of not doing it perfectly, failing, not being happy with my new choices, not pleasing those around me etc…I’m sure you can probably relate right? I can’t say I was exactly aware that I was paralized by fear but somewhere along the lines when I decided I’d had enough and set my intention on Clarity things slowly began to change for me. I started to move towards risk and allow a little bit of fearlessness to creep into my routines.
What I’m coming to realize now is that it’s healthy and rewarding to invite risk into your life but the consequences may totally upset your balance for awhile. I’m learning to live within this new state of unknown. It is not always easy, sometimes I feel like I can’t get a deep breath, sometimes I am just exhausted and sometimes I need a day with a book or time at the pool to totally recharge and feel that deeper sense of calm inside me.
The big risk of deciding to start my own business in a field that I was formerly almost unfamiliar with didn’t feel so much like a leap off a cliff but now that I’m falling (into grace) I can look up and see how far I’ve come and that I have my parachute attached. Somewhere inside myself I know how to do this, it came so much easier when I was younger but I’m learning to take on risk and to be more fearless by taking baby steps each day.
I’m taking more risks in my art, trying new techniques and approaches and being less judgmental of my own work.
I’m pushing myself to talk about my business in front of strangers on a regular weekly basis!
I am changing my dietary habits to reflect changes in my body (I’ve gone almost totally gluten free).
I’m re-trying things I use to love doing but somewhere along the lines stopped doing (swimming, tennis, bike riding).
I’m attending ART Camp (this is a bucket list item).
I’m growing food for myself (in a community garden plot).
I’m letting my grip on money become a little less rigid. It will be there when I need it but I also need to enjoy the present, not in an extravagant way but I’m also no longer going to deprive myself of certain things-BALANCE.
That last word, that’s what it’s all about. Striking a new balance between risk and easy…
What are you afraid of, what risks would you take if you knew you would not fail? Living in fear is not living well!